I Write My Own Happy Endings
by purushi
Summary: I won't hold her, I won't touch her, not until she wants me to. Sometimes love is in the things you don't do for a person.Hitsugaya x Hinamori x Kira
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

_"These tears that are shed, I swear they're not for you..."_**  
**

* * *

He had grown tired of it.

The sterile entirety of her room, the pristine cleanness of a room not meant to replace the haven of a home, the smell of complete sterility taunting him to shatter the carefully mustered perfection reflected in every aspect of her room in the fourth division. He longed to break it, to cry out in frustration and demand why the world hadn't stopped when she was no longer a part of it, and to snatch away the curtains of the charade that ensued during her slumber, as if nothing was wrong. How could that be? How could the outside world remain so flawless and unmarred, when inside havoc was being wreaked within his entire being?

He had wanted her out.

Beneath his calm demeanor so carefully placed, the tenth division captain was a wreck. He'd grown bitter coming to this ward only to see the same picture of lidded eyes that seemed to refuse life to shine, and to put him at ease. He was done with being rational. His systematically habitual analysis of deducing through logic and reason… was all rendered useless when it came to matters regarding her.

It was childish, which infuriated him further. How something so seemingly trivial could completely rupture his fine-tuned professional face as a Seiretei captain, and yet, he could not go for twenty- four hours without seeing her.

It was almost a relief to be sent on the mission to Karakura Town, at least, something to distract him self from the haunting image of her frozen as she was would cease to plague him.

It seemed avoiding her had worked. He had immersed himself again into his work, and felt productive at working to capture the man that had betrayed her. At least that's what he tried to persuade himself of. Deep inside, his need to take action towards her healing was not being quelled. But he had long come to realize that he would be useless otherwise. In her state, he could do nothing.

Which never failed to frustrate him deeply; when they were younger, he could defend her at any time she needed him, but what could he do when the only enemy she had right now was her self?

So it surprised him even further seeing her face on the screen. A complete ghost of the young innocent girl she used to be. It tore at his heart.

He did not know what to expect. A sudden change, something he certainly was waiting for, but there was no word to describe what he felt. Complete blank. Relieved? Surprised? Worried? He found his entire being freeze, unable to grasp what he should do next.

They carried out casual conversation, throughout he sensed her hesitance. Despite his efforts to try teasing her as he normally did, _he_ was mentioned.

With every word of his defense that left her lips, it felt as if she was stripping him of all defenses, of the carefully polished way of being her flawless hero, and knight in shining armor. How could he rival the man that had been in her heart always?

Here he stood, the acclaimed genius of his age, the praised endowed ice god and yet he couldn't feel any more useless.

* * *

The main aim of this chapter was just to set the setting for what is to come, it correlates to the recent manga chapters. But a separate storyline is sure to be developed, so rest assured. 


	2. Formalities

**Formalities**

"_It was never my place to hold you the way he does."_

_

* * *

_

It had been two days since she had talked to the tenth division captain, that penetrating gaze of surprise patronized her through the screen.

'_Don't stare at me like that, like I'm your mistake…'_

It was the second time she had awoken in this bed. White sheets. White walls. Their uniformity sat there and mocked her at what little dignity she had left. In truth she was afraid of change. A confused swelling garble of emotions had her suffocating in an ocean of shattered certainties and elusive dreams.

She wasn't mad at her captain, she was disgusted with herself.

When had she let one man become the pinnacle of her life on which her entirety depended upon? Blindly following and naively pursuing what she thought to be a vice-captain's dream. _Her_ dream.

Everything she had built so carefully for herself, every memory, was built towards him.

She wouldn't cry, not for herself at least.

A sharp rap on the paper screen to her room forced the girl from her reverie, she said nothing and the door slid open.

"How are you feeling?" The blond third division vice-captain managed a dry smile to escape onto his lips, nervousness was visible in every pore of him, Hinamori and Kira had been too close in their school days for her not be able to read him.

"Fine."

_Not Fine._ Everything within herself was in utter turmoil. She felt… _soiled_, mentally raped and used. She berated herself, demanding why she had been so naïve and when she had become someone that could be tied around someone's finger-

A gentle brush on her hand, and she locked eyes with her old friend, reminded of his presence, and the pain he suffered as well. Another swell of guilt broke upon her, he had suffered just as she has, felt the betrayal of the one he looked up to, and yet he sat here pampering her.

'_I'm even more pathetic.'_

Kira watched her intently, her eyes constantly shifting, and he gave her the time to think. Being with her for so long, he knew how strong she was, and how much pride she had for herself. Kira had never been the one to meddle.

The distressing look in her eyes, the way her brows knit together, and the way her pink lips parted and closed in futility as if to confess something, anything, that would relinquish her from the torment that seemed to pursue her since her wake.

She wasn't upset of Aizen's betrayal, not as disturbed as she was with her own.

She was as bad as Aizen. She couldn't erase the shock looked on Hitsugaya's face as she rose her blade against him.

'_That was betrayal.'_

Her eyes turned glassy and began to sheen over with excess water. She wouldn't let herself have the liberty of self-pity.

'_I'm at fault… these tears, I swear they don't fall for you…'_

She lost. Droplets of her inner turmoil fell in small pathetic patterns against her futilely outstretched fingers. She had let her pain elude her in this liquidated mocking state, these tears were her weakness.

Kira couldn't understand, inwardly he himself was at a loss for action.

Hesitantly he raised his hand lifting her head so her eyes locked with his, he needed to connect with her, before she drowned in herself.

Her head raised she saw his zanpakutou, Wabisuke, at his side.

"Spar. Kira… Kira let's spar."

It was all she had time to spew out, she needed something to help her break herself, she needed an outlet.

'_Let me break…'_

Kira remained shocked only for a short moment before nodding his head reluctantly.

'_If this is all I can do for you, I'll do it…'_

It was an awkward sight to see, Kira in standard shinigami garb and Hinamori in her white sleeping yukata. The hilt of tobiume seemed to burn at her touch.

The last time she had stood like this with Kira, was when she had betrayed him.

It started out cleanly enough, she attacked first. Which surprised Kira, usually she was one to take the defensive stance. Her movements were quick and fluid, as if she moved only to hear the clash of metal, but each strike was decisive as if she intended to chip away what she felt inside her.

Kira parried each blow cleanly, eyes fixated on her expression. He wanted to help cure her in so many ways. It was never his place.

She continued to strike, but her accuracy declined with each blow. Rain had begun to fall, Kira stopped, pure concern for her well-being written on his features.

'_Stop looking at me like that… like I'm your mistake.'_

"Hinamori, we should get back inside, your body is already weak…"

They were the words that she didn't want to face. Weak. Everything washed over her like the rain that now fell in fat droplets penetrating to her skin.

She had defended Aizen in the end, not only out of loyalty, but in defense for herself, in defense towards her whole life being a mistake until now.

She felt short of breath, she needed to hear it… the clash of her sword against Kira's to drown out her thoughts. He had stopped fighting and sheathed his sword. Her hands trembled, unsure of what do with the feelings that continued to brim up in her soul.

Tears fell against her will, and she wanted them to stop, what good did crying do her? Every time she cried, she wished people wouldn't look at her like that, with that expression of pity in their eyes. She couldn't see their concern only her own weakness.

"I don't know what to do with myself."

It was the vaguest thing she could say to encompass all that she was feeling. She hadn't notice Kira come within inches of her body.

He longed to reach out to her, to wipe the black locks that stuck to her rain-soaked face away and to feel her form along his. It was never his place. He put a comforting hand on her shoulder instead. He couldn't offer her anything else. He would do anything for her, but he couldn't. Wasn't his place.

She stopped shaking amongst her tears. She knew it wasn't Kira's fault, but a new feeling of utter rejection encompassed her, and she hated it. She hadn't expected him to do anything else, it was unreasonable of her, and yet, why did she still feel upset and somehow let down. Had she grown so desperate that she just wanted to be held by another?

She remembered her captain's pat of her head, the contact that she savored more than anything else.

She smiled up at Kira, his blond hair a sheet in the rain.

"Kira, Thank you."

'_I'm pathetic, and I won't burden you anymore.'_

She sheathed her zanpakutou, in a stiff silence, like if she had reached the eye of the storm. Chaos had simply stifled her actions.

Kira watched her figure, knowing that he could do no more for her.

It wasn't his place.

Her thanks, words intended for relief, only plagued him more as he watched her walk away in the rain.

He fell to his knees.

"Hinamori… I'm sorry… it was never my place."

* * *

Intention for this chapter was just to set the amount of guilt Hinamori has pinned to herself. I'm still building the setting in a way. Hinamori is completely in despair because she doesn't want to be looked down upon and feel dependent on someone, at the same time she fights the loneliness of the isolation she puts herself through. I'm trying to emphasize her as truly a stronger character than a damsel in distress.

Sorry, no, Hitsugaya in this chapter, but don't stress this was very Kira oriented, but the rest of the story focuses on the main pairing.

Thank you for the Reviews!

**Sango Hikari**: So much turmoil in both characters, I just hope I can express it accurately.

**Tarame**: Thanks! I really cherish when you say it's well-written, I'm still developing some kind of dramatic style to befit this fic.

**White Pizza**: Believe it or not, I wrote and rewrote the summary three times, so I'm happy that it caught your attention, and I hope the upcoming chapters fulfill your expectations.


	3. Cleansing

**Cleansing**

"_I won't hold her. I won't touch her, not until she wants me to."_

The rain had thoroughly soaked her yukata to her skin and lacey patterns clung to her body in a delicate and intricate manner, she still dragged tobiume at her side letting its blade leave a trail in the dirt. She had sensed Kira's confusion from the start, why had she chosen to push it?

A scream was stifled in her throat, a part of her scrambled to prove her independence and justify her means up until now, where another part of her wanted to crumble and just be held. Both wishes contradicted the other, and she couldn't help feeling completely distraught of one without the other.

The guilt of indecision and confusion added to the already mounting chaos within her, what could she do now?

She didn't know how long she stood there in the rain. The tiny drops continued to berate her senses, the patter on the roof like a thousand beaded necklaces spilling and shattering on its surface.

'_I'm sorry…'_

Kira gradually regained composure, what was done was done. He had chosen to reject the position as Hinamori's pillar of comfort. It had felt awkward, especially when her heart was so torn and battered in confusion already. He indeed cared for her deeply, beyond camaraderie, but breaching the fine line was a risk, and Kira Izuru was never a risk taker.

There was too much to jeopardize, despite his own desires, after watching Aizen's emotional rape of Hinamori's mind, he could never forgive himself if he ever hurt her like that.

It was for the best, he decided. His pale hand subconsciously curled into a fist as he continued on to find Captain Unohana. Hinamori was in no condition to wander about in the rain, but he was too much of a coward to face her now.

The blond hastily rounded a corner but paused as he faced a familiar face.

No words were exchanged between the two, but Kira's shocked expression and lack of articulation sufficed for communication.

"Thank you Kira, I'll take it from here."

She hadn't realized when she had arrived there; maybe it was the rushing water's hum from the riverbed that had attracted her. But nonetheless she had found herself on the small bridge, hypnotized by the suddenly savage flow of water created from the rain, which seemed innocent enough as it fell on her shoulders in docile drops.

Her pale hand gripped the edge of the rail, as she fell to her knees. Her body's condition had caught up with her.

No. She was in utter refusal, whilst inside her was chaos, she didn't need any more reason to appear any more … _pathetic_.

She was sick of this self-pity, but felt that she had to punish herself in some way. All of it began to mount. Her feelings of being betrayed by the man she looked up to- no the man she thought she had loved. Her feelings of being used by another to the point where she questioned her own sense of being and her life until now. Her actions of isolating herself from the people close to her. It was all her fault. What had happened to days when Izuru and Renji would come tease her and keep each other company between classes? What happened to the vice-captains meetings where they all enjoyed each others company? What happened to the times with Shiro …

She winced at the name. It was Captain Hitsugaya now, she could never bring herself to get used to that title, a futile smile of vague remembrance cast on her lips.

She had lost him too, and she had no one to blame but herself.

By the time he had found her she had been lying on the bridge, her body refusing to move. But she was still completely awake, letting her thoughts wash onto her over and over again like the endless raindrops.

He had walked over to her body in haste, her eyes were out of focus as if in a daze as they turned to face him. He could feel himself tense, the way she looked sprawled on the bridge like some broken doll. Rain had cleanly seeped through the thin fabric of her clothes and her locks clung in curls onto her face, her brown eyes on him the whole time, but not really seeing him at all.

"Hinamori…" her name fell from his lips, breaking over her like a raindrop.

He had grown. The scrawny boy from Rukongai that was her best friend… was he really the same man that now knelt beside her, Captain Hitsugaya of the Tenth Division, revered genius. She eyed his steady gaze and pasted frown.

She chuckled as if in a drunken state as she reminisced, consciousness was finally fleeting from her body.

"Don't look at me like that, _Captain Hitsugaya_."

He watched her lids finally collapse, and couldn't help but feel relief, their empty gaze had been too much for him to handle, not when he was used to seeing them with such shine and happiness reflected in them.

He studied her soaked frame. Removing his captain's jacket and placing it over her form he picked her up cautiously, as if she were made of glass and used _shunpo _to return towards the buildings in the tenth division.

Matsumoto, for once had asked no questions and simply cocked her head in acknowledgement as he walked into the Tenth Division quarters and into his room.

The room was already lit, and he settled her body onto his futon. All the while his body went through systematic actions: telling Matsumoto to tell Captain Unohana that Hinamori was in his care, turning off all the lights in the division office, and returning to his room promptly. He had busied himself with these tasks, in hoping to counter the inner mental turmoil that continued to brew impatiently.

He had come back from Karakura Town for the time being. The decision was sudden, and Matsumoto had been supportive and followed her Captain back without demanding of a reason, for she had probably already known it. But, the logical captain, the one that always had a plan and was one step ahead, had not foreseen what his return would bring to him.

In truth, he was at a loss of what to do completely. He knew what he wanted to do. Hesitant steps were taken to Hinamori's sleeping body. They hadn't been alone like this in a long time. His gaze intensified, feeling that he was for sure at fault for the distance created. Staring at her pale face, which seemed to be at false peace, he reluctantly rose his hand to brush stray strands from her face. Quickly he pulled it away. He had no right to touch her.

His brow furrowed as anger began to dilute his senses, he would throw it all away. His title as Captain, the years of distance, and even his cold demeanor, he would give up it all if it meant that he could break such formalities such as the bond of mere subordinates. His reason became clouded, and logic remain forgotten he found his body moving on its own. A steady hand snaked around her waist and crushed it against his body as if the warmth of her body was like oxygen on which he needed to survive. Her tiny frame melded against his and he could hear their heartbeats reverberate off of each other from such close contact.

Her eyes fluttered open, the sudden contact of direct heat caused her body to respond. For the first time since her wake, she felt herself involuntarily relax as her body seemed to be drawn to the warmth. She didn't have time to register and calculate what she should have done, just for the time being it felt so good to be like this.

"I'm sorry… Toushirou." Her apology was whispered to the side since her ear lay on his heart. Surprisingly, he hadn't loosened his hold on her when she woke up again. Strange, he had never been one to excessively comfort her.

The foreign title registered slowly, she had never called him that before. It had always been Hitsugaya, or Captain Hitsugaya, and at sometimes Shiro but… her sudden address of his name caught him by surprise.

"Don't be." His mouth was dry despite all the things that could have been said, now that she was awake, he planned on keeping some distance, she wasn't ready. And he wouldn't force her.

Reluctantly he withdrew his hold on her, and tried not to read her reaction, he slowly moved from his position to stand up, but her hand grasped his wrist almost frantically.

She had moved on reflex, all reason and guilt that had washed over her that night protested against her act of dependence. But she couldn't let go, the sudden lack of heat caused her to feel more isolated and lonely than ever. _She would be pathetic tonight, if she could be with him._

His gaze was steady into her eyes. She dropped her head to tear the gaze that threatened to read her worries and thoughts. She had always depended on him, but she was sick of playing the damsel in distress.

Her hand released its grip on his wrist, how could she expect to depend on him when she had betrayed the very trust that they had forged over years of friendship? Tears fell against her will, and she savagely covered her lids from view, she didn't need them, not now. Why did it hurt so much to lose her dependence on him, was it because she was the closest thing to the Captain figure she had clung her dreams upon… a swell of remorse fell over her, she couldn't bear to hurt him again.

He watched, struggling to maintain a rational expression.

'_I won't hold her. I won't touch her, not until she wants me to.'_

He respected her too much, he loved her too much. Love, so commonly abused as the indulging of one's own selfish pleasure, whereas in truth love was the will to do anything for the one you love to be happy. He didn't care if they were never together, so long as she was happy, he could forgive himself for not being able to protect her.

His hand reached towards her chin and forced her tears to surrender to his gaze as he pressed his forehead against hers. They could feel each other breathe. Both ragged from frustration.

"Do you need me?"

Hitsugaya's question hung in the air, holding all that he had to say to her for now.

'_Because I need you…'_ his eyes searched her face for a sign, trying to keep an expression that wouldn't coax an answer from her, he wanted what she wanted.

Her eyes looked into his, uncertain of how to respond to the blatant question pressed upon her. Emotions began to churn, and she wanted so badly…

"**Do you need me**?" He asked again with the same fervor but barely whispered it audibly.

It took all the control he had to not push her for an immediate answer. He needed her, but wanted her to be content with herself more than anything. It was out of respect for her pride, which he knew she held dear to her. It was part of the reason she loved her most, and so he would wait.

She broke the gaze with his eyes and laid her forehead against his chest, shaking and uncertain hands grasping the collar of his black shinigami robes.

"**Yes**."

The wave of emotions and regret that she expected to drown her were unexpectedly appeased, and she felt as if a burden that she had taken on had lightened considerably.

"I'm sorry. That I always need you." She looked up, and was startled to see his surprised expression which quickly faded into his usual smug grin as he cocked his eyebrow playfully.

"I don't mind," the tone of his voice suddenly changing to the brisk way he usually spoke with her. A smile played on his lips.

"Shiro…" she questioned at his sudden change of atmosphere, but feeling somewhat relieved, that things could feel normal.

"Neh… Hinamori, do you plan on releasing my robes any time soon, or are you going to wait until they've fallen off completely?" His green eyes challenged her playfully.

Noticing that her grip had caused the neck of his robes to uncover quite a bit of his chest, she withdrew her hands quickly and flushed. She had been clueless towards her actions.

"S-sorry!" Her hands moved to cover her reddening face, but his swift reflexes imprisoned her escaping hand in his. His gaze was strong, and caused her to flush even more.

Words didn't have to be spoken of their feelings, tonight seemed the exception, neither was up to confessing anything as far as a love confession, but the way their body's responded new that their feelings of need were mutual.

He held his hand against hers, and her eyes widened. Her hand seemed so small, dwindling in size from his. Her fingertips far from his, he had grown. She hadn't noticed until now, his features seemed much more pronounced and matured to fit his personality that had never been very child-like. She was pretty sure that he would be taller than her now as well…

Hitsugaya sighed with false impatience, and she turned her head in reaction, knowing that he had probably caught her looking at him.

He cocked a grin and brought his hand to the back of her neck and brushed his lips against hers. The kiss was a curing sensation. He broke it off and smiled at her flustered reaction, taking pleasure in it. It was like old times again, when he would tease her, and she would turn red from embarrassment, he let a chuckle escape his lips.

Hinamori regained her composure, and let a smile release. It felt refreshing, to be able to feel it spread across her lips genuinely.

Inside, Hitsugaya relaxed considerably, it was still there, her smile. That smile he lived to protect.

She let her body lean against his chest propping her head under his chin and letting his arms cling around her waist, basking in the heat that radiated from his skin.

She was unsure if she would regret this, if this was what she wanted, but for the moment…

"Thank you. I'm afraid I still need you."

She smiled weakly feeling a bit ashamed sitting in his lap.

She felt his hold on her tighten around her waist and his head rest on her shoulder next to her ear.

"_I need you too."_

_

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_

I hope that was long enough to appease you dear readers, I tend to write short chapters, I'll lengthen them as I go along. For those who think that I'm done, I'm afraid I've only just started my development, how will Hinamori react to her sudden bond forged with Hitsugaya when they have been so formal for so long?

She still has much to go through, and I hope you gained the impression that she isn't submitting to becoming dependent, but she's learning to rely on others as they rely on her in order to grow stronger. Thanks for reading!

**sibba:** Thank you for reading, sorry if the update was later than expected, I wanted to make this chapter really well executed.

**Amore Domitum Omnie:** I hope I updated promptly enough for you as well, thanks! I'm trying really hard to pin the emotions onto the characters in a believable way, I'm happy it seems to be working!

**Sango Hikari:** Thanks for the grammar advice, I hope I improved a little bit with this chapter, but there was a lot to say, so there's bound to be lots of mistakes! Sorry! I'll try my best to fix it up best I can.

**Lazy ass:** I was trying to go for a dramatic refrain like thing with that line, so I'm really happy that it stood out to you!

**SnufflesWillRise:** Is it long enough? It seemed forever to write. It's as long as I can go for right now, I'll try to make them lengthier from here on out though!

**Thank you so much for reading!**


	4. Intrusion

**Intrusion**

_It was enough. Holding her was enough, being with her was enough. She was enough._

A few months had passed since that day in the rain, it hadn't rained like it since. Lots of smiles had been exchanged through the time spent. Vice Captain Hinamori and Captain Hitsugaya still met on a regular basis despite the duties of being seated officers of their own respective units. Aizen's trail has been kept quiet, and Soul Society waits in false peace for him to make the first move.

The fifth squad as well as the third squad temporarily merged until new captains can be provided, for the sake of paperwork; where as ninth squad's vice captain, Hisagi Shuuhei had been promoted to captain status.

It was a night of abnormally increased paperwork for the third and fifth squad, Kira and Hinamori lay in the office filling out reports and sorting papers that seemed to have no destination.

The young brunette stifled a yawn, her fingers curling over the pen in her hand and the other covering her mouth futilely smothering her signs of sleepiness. Her blond partner seemed to be suffering from the same lack of sleep. Verbal silence was heard in the air interrupted with the scratching of pen on paper and shuffling of multiple forms and rearranging of stacks. A large thud shook the table and Hinamori glanced up to see Kira's head against the wood in defeat. She let a chuckle escape her lips and prodded his blond head with the back of her pen playfully.

"Kira… come on, we have to finish this by morning." She could sympathize with how he felt, neither of them had slept for the last two days.

"I dot dat breing gombind wood mag baberwrk eajier…"

"I - can't - hear – you-u-u-u." She responded to the muffled garble, prodding his head with the back of her pen with each syllable.

He raised his head, which seemed to consume all his energy.

"I thought that being combined would make paperwork easier… but it seems that our usual amount has just doubled."

"That's not…," she took a glance around the office, it seemed that every inch of the desk was covered with a teetering stack as well as under the couch which they dubbed as 'work that could wait.' She sighed, banging her own head against the desk.

"What are we going to do…," She emitted a groan, her lids threatening to close and her conscience keeping her from doing so.

Her eyelids fluttered against the desk's surface that was pressed against her forehead, each time harder to restrain the sleep that was sinking in from inevitability. She had just admitted defeat to her fatigue when she received a sharp smack on the head.

Looking up in surprise she saw herself looking into familiar emerald eyes.

"Tou- Captain Hitsugaya…," she managed to recover her slip of informality quickly, causing him to cock a brow in amusement. His mocking smile playing across his features deviously, the way he used to look when he would play tricks on her when they were younger.

She loved that expression, it never failed to serve as a remembrance of their childhood days. The past months, Hitsugaya had supported her to all ends as a crutch which was a crucial part to her recovery towards her normal state as she was now. She had learned to accept his help… for now. She had long vowed since that night in the rain, that she would get stronger, to appease her own guilt of being betrayed by her Captain by becoming a stronger shinigami, for no one other than herself. For that, she was secretly training herself in the release of her bankai, but she was ashamed to let anyone know. It was her own secret endeavor, and the masking of her fluctuating reiatsu was an easy task from her expertise in kidou.

"Why do you captains always have to sneak up on peo…"

"You two can stop for the night." The white haired Captain glanced towards the clock, it was 3:00 in the morning.

"Sir, we still have tons of work to-"

"You're not getting anywhere in the state you're in Kira…" He pointed to the form that Kira was currently working on, of which had been filled out completely incorrectly.

Kira looked at the paper as if seeing it for the first time, before banging his head on the desk.

"Kira... we might as well stop for tonight…" She picked herself up, scooting her chair back. She needed the darkness of the night to train. She wasn't looking forward to it, her energy was already drained from the paperwork. She stood facing Hitsugaya, and found herself staring at his chest, she still hadn't gotten used to the growth spurt he had while she was asleep.

Kira had stood in defeat, his tall and lean frame wavering as if he couldn't even support his own body weight anymore. He somehow managed to hobble his way to the paper screen and leave after blurting a quick 'Good Night.'

Hinamori turned to follow suit her hand on the paper screen door, Hitsugaya's voice stopped her.

"Are you going to be okay going back to your room by yourself?" His voice showed the slightest hint of concern, she was grateful for his kindness towards her.

Her sleeping quarters lay on the other side of the Seireitei, however it wasn't her current destination, her training spot was rather nearby.

"Honestly, Shiro… I'm not a child anymore, I'll be fine." She teased, calling him the nickname he had come to loathe even more.

She reached out her hand to pat him on the head as she had done so many times when they were younger, only to stop and realize that she was so much shorter… again the height difference failed to register. He had not only grown taller, his build had filled out as well. Humans lovingly dubbed it puberty where as Hitsugaya insisted that she was just shrinking.

He smirked at her inability to pat his head, taking some childish triumph in the simple action.

He raised his hand triumphantly and ruffled her hair instead, emitting an irritated sound from her lips.

"Let's see how you like it… shorty," he shot smugly.

She raised her hand to brush the now entangled strands from her eyes, his hand dropping down grazing her own. The sudden contact surprised both of them and they withdrew quickly. Certainly, they were on much better terms, better friends than they were before when Aizen had been the pinnacle of Hinamori's attention. But, the bond was somehow different now.

Dense as she was sometimes, Hinamori slowly began to see the small boy from Rukongai disappear, he was a grown man now. His features began to become more defined and his shoulders broader, and of course his height; his eyes however were the same, the same emerald gaze that mirrored thousands of unsaid words.

His hand moved on instinct, his fingertips grazing the blush that was beginning to stain her cheeks. Her eye lids fell savoring the sensation, placing her own trembling hand over his.

They had rarely been more intimate than the night in the rain. Both of their feelings held in queue, unwilling to decipher what their relationship had become. They were alone again, and something in the Tenth Division captain began to stir with a foreign almost animalistic temptation.

He was lost in that sensation, the one that both irritated him and enthralled him. It was if the force of some unseen addiction took over his body, the yearning to touch her and feel her frame against his, enticed by her pink lips that lay slightly open, innocently.

Damnit. He was so vulnerable.

He drew her in, her eyes shone with innocent curiosity and confusion, she couldn't sort what emotion was taking over. His eyes were hypnotizing, the alluring emerald shine emitting an unbreakable gaze.

His hand dropped to her chin, tilting it upwards and bringing his own lips to graze on hers. Just as they were to contact, he fell back abruptly.

The paper door slid open.

Kira walked in stiffly.

"Forgot these papers…" he commented briskly, shuffling some papers into a stack and tucking it under his arm.

He eyed the two others from the corner of his gaze.

Hitsugaya stood with his usual crossed arms, and frown, though the furrow in his brow seemed to mirror that he was more irritated than usual.

Hinamori on the other hand, was much more suspicious, her hand brushing her lips and her cheeks flushed. The three stood in awkward silence.

"I guess I'll be going then." Hinamori chirped as confidently as she could muster, stumbling her way out of the door and towards the training grounds. She was in need of a distraction now more than ever.

The two men were left in the room alone, Kira moved towards the door taking his leave, shuffling to leave the tenth division captain's stifling aura of tension.

"You were watching weren't you." It was a statement not a question.

Kira froze, aware of the other man's gaze on his back.

"Yes." His voice was soft, but cold.

He had never left the two of them alone, despite the nagging conscience that he should have left. He watched them both through the shadows mirrored by the paper screen, instinct caused him to intrude. He silently cursed himself for his action, hadn't he accepted it? When had it been his place to interfere? If he was to become suddenly bolder, why would it be now? Whatever it was, something had churned deeply inside him that caused him to stir.

His back faced the patronizing gaze that seemed to hold no sympathy.

"Your affections towards Hinamori, are not of my concern, however if you distress her in any way, you'll have to deal with me."

Kira hadn't expected to hear the open response, Hitsugaya had been straightforward and acknowledged him as an equal in this sense.

Hitsugaya brushed past Kira, sliding the paper screen door close with his leave.

The blond stood in the room by himself, his hands moving towards his forehead.

"What have I gotten myself into?"

Tobiume glowed pink, as Hinamori aimed another blow at the tree trunk that was her current victim. Tonight's training had been for the most part ineffective. She was distracted, and in consequence her movements were sloppy.

She cursed as she fell to her knees, exhausted from haphazardly exerting so much energy.

Her mind was in turmoil; her fingers trembled as she brought them to her lips, remembering the close contact only an hour before. Her face flushed. She was falling again, her brows knit in frustration.

Did she just have a Captain complex? She scoffed at the quickening of her heartbeat when she thought of his hand on her hips, the way his deep tenor voice would whisper her name, like a water drop rippling the surface of her entire being.

She was afraid she was becoming helpless again. She couldn't concentrate, what exactly was this agonizing sensation, and was it different from her infatuation with Aizen?

She wanted to cry and scream, she swung Tobiume violently in the air, unable to contain it.

What exactly had her feelings for Aizen been? Was it love, however one-sided it turned to be? She found her mind wandering to thoughts of him. Remembering his hand on her head, whenever she was distressed, how she would have done anything he desired to make him happy.

She was sick of it as her thoughts leered towards how far she would have gone to please him. She remembered her innocent thoughts of offering her virginity to him, how could she have been so naïve?

She began to cry, she wasn't strong enough to face the possibility of that kind of torment and regret again.

She swung her sword, thoroughly exhausted, surprised when it was stopped mid-swing.

Her eyes full of tears she looked up towards the patronizing gaze of emerald eyes.

"Toushirou…" his name fell from her lips like a plea.

He eyed her body, it seemed limp. He furrowed his brow annoyed, she had pushed herself. He hated to see her do this to herself, her tears tore at him, his hand moved to wipe them, the contact of his hand on her skin again surprised her.

They were large, rough and calloused; it felt so warm against her cheek.

They were so close again, and Hinamori's previous thoughts began to whir, was submitting to this feeling admitting defeat to her independence?

He watched her, his gaze unrelenting as it bore into her, she was driving him insane.

"Why are you doing this to me?" He was angry, and his voice was dangerously soft.

It was a desperate inquiry. He had allowed her to penetrate the icy wall he held around her heart, but she would never realize how she tortured him. He was a patient man, but it took everything in him to not simply force his feelings on to her. He had always worked for her happiness, when Aizen had betrayed her, he had felt it was his fault.

He hadn't been strong enough. He hadn't been quick enough.

Soon he discovered, it was far easier to train himself physically then to calm the tempest of unease that sweltered his consciousness. He couldn't take it, rage had become his well-known acquaintance that erupted alongside his confusion. He could train himself, become stronger; but no matter how hard he tried, it would not put his emotions at ease.

Her gaze turned intense, their sudden desperation causing his chest to convulse involuntarily, her hands moving towards the neck of his Shinigami robes and parting them.

He didn't question her sudden boldness as her fingers grazed on his exposed flesh, her hand fell on his shoulder, fingering the enormous scar that the battle with Aizen had left.

She placed her lips gently over the healed gash, as tears continued to fall. It took all of his efforts to keep his hormones in check as he felt her lips on the sensitive skin, her hands lay resting on his abdomen as she gently kissed the scarred flesh of his shoulder.

He watched her pink lips and the arising sensation of hunger for contact began to take over his senses, his hand moved to support her spine but his mind stopped him from letting them roam anywhere else.

"It's my fault." Her eyes lay fixed on the scar on his flesh, her voice was deadly calm like the eye of a storm.

"Stop it." He growled, he had grown impatient as he grew more aroused, his response being much fiercer than he intended, she looked up at him. He was battling so many urges, her lips were parted so innocently, he felt guilty of the rising urge to claim her and touch her. He wanted to possess her, to the point that it hurt so much when they were this close and yet in a way still so far apart.

"Momo. Stop punishing yourself." His voice fell softly, "at least let me share the burden."

His hand cupped her cheek and forcefully captured her lips, he couldn't take it anymore. Neither of them were breathing. They parted, both of them gazing intently, not sure how to voice the confusion.

Something in her was appeased, just like the night in the rain, she had no idea what it was, but when they were together it seemed to not matter.

"I'm sorry… I don't know what I feel towards you." She rested her forehead in the crook of his neck.

It was enough. Holding her was enough, being with her was enough. She was enough.

His hand wound around to her back, stroking the ridge of her spine with his fingers. She seemed to relax from the action, the hands that were on his abdomen accidentally fell towards the sash of his hakama, she flushed and pulled away her body quickly.

He grunted from the sudden lack of contact, he had noted the slip of her hands and for a flickering moment hadn't minded it at all. He was becoming like that perverted eighth division captain.

He walked her to her room in silence, for the most part each enjoying the other's company. Both of them were still trying to digest exactly what had happened earlier. As she entered her room she paused at the entrance her gaze shifting in a shy manner; she turned around giving him a quick peck on the cheek much to his surprise. He left her quarters smirking, but his expression soon dropped to a frown.

"It's good to see she's looking well." The voice had come from the shadows, every muscle in Hitsugaya's body had tensed.

He recognized the tone, it was smooth and confident.

"I won't let you touch her..." His emerald gaze was fixated on the man, his stare seething with hatred, and his voice dripping with ice. The man only smiled softly, the smile used to inspire confidence among his comrades, but its intent was seen now as one solely of mockery.

"Aizen."

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Sorry for the delayed update, I wanted to really think the plot through before I continued. It's still a little sketchy.

Can you tell that it's starting to gain momentum? Hopefully.

I wrote this chapter over and over at least five times.

You can tell that Hitsugaya and Hinamori are growing more intimate, I just don't want it to be in a horribly out of character manner.

Mmm. For those who were perceptive, Hitsugaya had called her Momo, yea thought I'd just slip that in to ad to the drama of the moment.

Thank you all who reviewed, I won't be responding personally this time since I'm rather tired, maybe next time.

Thank you for reading.


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